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Chapter 49: Turns Out Sammy's Not Very Good at Looting
Ok, maybe the southern half redeems the island.
Delightfully clueless yokels. I guess that's a plus.
I bet this place looks fuckin' awesome at sunset. Kinda like the American Southwest meats the Caribbean. Plus.
GIANT. PREDATORY. INSECT. I bet these things attract those stupid birds. . . Minus.
#193. Yanma J:Yanyanma G:Yanma F:Yanma
Clear Wing Pokémon
Height: 3'11" Weight: 83.8 lbs
Habitat: Forests Types: 
Yanma is capable of seeing 360 degrees without having to move its eyes. It is a great flier that is adept at making sudden stops and turning midair. This Pokémon uses its flying ability to quickly chase down targeted prey. If it flaps its wings really fast, it can generate shock waves that will shatter windows in the area.
There's a Chrono Trigger reference here. Ehhhh... ehhhhhh. Nah, I got nothing.
Fuckin' weird animals out here, man.
#177. Natu J:Naty G:Natu F:Natu
Little Bird Pokémon
Height: 0'08" Weight: 4 lbs
Habitat: Forests Types: 
Natu has a highly developed jumping ability. This species flaps and leaps onto tree branches that are taller than grown-up people to pick at the tree's new shoots. However, Natu cannot fly because its wings are not yet fully grown. If your eyes meet with this Pokémon's eyes, it will stare back intently at you. But if you move even slightly, it will hop away to safety. Natu's eyes look as if they are always observing something.
. . . . . . Oh, you are fucking shitting me.
—A short hike later—
Don't think you're special because of this. 
Maybe I shouldn't touch anything and consult an archaeo— Who am I kidding? I'mma gonna loot the hell out of this place. I'm Sammy Croft oyam oyam.
Fuckin' score. 
SHIT. CHEESE IT, SUGARNAUT! THE ARCHAEOLOGISTS HAVE COME!
GOLBEZ?! . . . or Ganondorf. I guess it could be either. Golbezadorf.
You could probably sell it at auction for a lot more. Not that you're keeping it. That shit's mine. I looted it first.
>:T I'm doing this harder than I ever have before.
What the hell? How the fuck did you get that password and why are you telling me this.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Why am I even looking at this? I've got a gemstone to steal back.
Sugarnaut writin' in the Dirt again posted:
Let the two glittering stones, one in red, one in blue, connect the past. Two friends sharing power open a window to a new world that glows. The next world waits for you.
Fuck.
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